Thursday, March 7, 2013

Just when I wanted to give up.


On Monday morning, My 6G kids was out for Music Lesson. During these times, the kids would be out of the classroom and My Class Teacher, Mr Harold, and I would have the entire classroom for ourselves.

If I can remember we were sorting out all the required printed materials that needed to be given for the students. Of course, while doing some paper works, we both had our "manly/brother to brother" chat. He asked me of how was my weekend, and I told him, I attended a church member's wedding and of course my  usual weekly Sunday Church.

Immediately, like everyone would ask when they heard someone who is eager to go to church every week, He asked me whether before this I was going to be a pastor or a church leaeder in some sort.

I told him my decisions in the past, and my last deciphering after college, and we both ended chatting his part of his career and his younger days.

Later that day, both of us were supporting our students in their work, He and I were working with students on one table, and I overheard them saying: "You know I admire Mr. David, he does not only work hard in school during the weekdays, but on the weekend, He don't just at rest at home but he goes to church every week."

It felt good, when someone is complimenting me to another person. It's like in people's eyes, you know that they trust you and they think you're the dependable one. It's been fun supporting him and assisting him together in 6G. The kids were mischievous, bunch of no good delinquents, but without them, I am bored. (I hate doing paper works, I hate being separated with my kids, and do other things for the school)

School has a lot of politics. There were many power struggle shenanigans between leaders and professors, leading us colleagues and staffs going nowhere but to remain in jumbled boxes of confusion and frustrations. As a new fresh meat in the working world, I feel the same way and I could relate these problems with any other working people! Staffs stabbed one another in the back, getting credits while jeopardizing other colleagues; not to mention, pushing away responsibilities and had others to work for them.


I always mumbled to myself and to my cohorts 4 mates, that this is so unfair. Other colleagues are on the payroll, earning a whole lot more than I do. I only receive RM500 every month, and I already gave that up fully to the school for my University course studies. So technically, I can consider myself as working for free for the school, doing unexpected and many load of things, things that are not stated in the contract or the agreed conditions stated by The University.




My physical strength could not cope to the working rhythm, I came home exhausted and dying for rest everyday. My emotions and common sentimental kindness was degrading in each and every day. I didn't have good moods for my friends, I dislike going to church, I dislike going anywhere which would spoil my weekends of resting. I almost gave up the common sense of knowing the common and spiritual goodness.

From knowing God until a fleshy man.

But,

after hearing what my class teacher said to a student,
I thought no one noticed, no one cares, no one bothers, no one is hearing, but

I went home, at least sat on my knees and prayed,

God, forgive me.
I almost gave up.
I treated my friends, like how my colleagues treated me.
I forgot about love, the unconditional love,
I chose not to forgive, I chose to be skeptical,
I forgave that freedom that I have in you long ago.

But today, I decided In the love of Christ I stand.


Mr.  David








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